the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I got inside last night via doggy door
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
