living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
