Life is so much better after having sex.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
