and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I look better un-naked...
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
