My brain says no but my pants say off.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I need to calm my uterus...
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
