Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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