Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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