the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
