He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
