It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
