did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
