capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
