i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
