Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
