i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
The adults are the big ones right?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
