it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
