I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
