Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
