some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Terrible idea I love it
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
