you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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