Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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