Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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