Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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