Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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