I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
