Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
