I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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