Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
