dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
