At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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