JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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