maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
