My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
