? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
