hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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