Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
