it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
