I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
