I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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