dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
