but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
And then he peed in my hair
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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