with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
