this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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