Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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