I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
