Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
