The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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