If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
