I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
