The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
